For those of you too young to remember the days when "bumper sticker" meant nothing to do with Facebook (which should be none of you, since all of about three people read this and those people are older than me), I use the term to refer to actual stickers placed on the bumper of a car. Or, in the case that I'm writing about, all over every free surface of the car, including the windshield.
Some cars have far too many bumper stickers. It's a simple fact. I pointed out this afternoon, while looking at one such car parked off the street in Troy, that when I see a car with 8,000 bumper stickers I feel like I want to blow it up with an RPG. This is roughly 30% due to the sheer number of stickers and 70% due to the content of the stickers. As a rule of thumb, when you see a car covered in its weight in stickers, you can generally ascertain a few things: they are a liberal nutcase, an environmentalist-bordering-on-eco-terrorism, and one of those "coexisters" (you know, that one stupid sticker that has the word "coexist" written in all kinds of religious symbols). They probably value lobsters over human lives. They probably making a hobby out of hugging trees and loving dirt. And it's about 99% sure that in this past election they voted for socialism, infanticide, rabid globalism, and otherwise Barack Obama.
If you are offended by the last paragraph, then I probably don't like your world view.
Heck, those are just the types of people that put that many bumper stickers on their cars. It's really stupid. It's like waving a big red flag with the word "idiot" embroidered upon it in bold lettering. I mean, heck, 30% of the idiocy comes from the sheer number of stickers in the first place. That's still saying something.
On a related note, I really wish life were more like Grand Theft Auto. You know, when that person honks their horn at you for absolutely no reason, you can just plow 'em off the road. You can mow down those pedestrians abusing their "right of way" to mosey across the crosswalk for a period of time that seems about five years long. Or not even the crosswalk, just simply a random spot in the middle of the road. Mostly, though, I'd like to just plow bad drivers off the road and ignore the speed limit and such.
Hmmmm...it seems like I'm kind of in a bad mood. But it's all good, because I had a slice of chicken alfredo pizza from Pizza Bella. Schweet.
Some cars have far too many bumper stickers. It's a simple fact. I pointed out this afternoon, while looking at one such car parked off the street in Troy, that when I see a car with 8,000 bumper stickers I feel like I want to blow it up with an RPG. This is roughly 30% due to the sheer number of stickers and 70% due to the content of the stickers. As a rule of thumb, when you see a car covered in its weight in stickers, you can generally ascertain a few things: they are a liberal nutcase, an environmentalist-bordering-on-eco-terrorism, and one of those "coexisters" (you know, that one stupid sticker that has the word "coexist" written in all kinds of religious symbols). They probably value lobsters over human lives. They probably making a hobby out of hugging trees and loving dirt. And it's about 99% sure that in this past election they voted for socialism, infanticide, rabid globalism, and otherwise Barack Obama.
If you are offended by the last paragraph, then I probably don't like your world view.
Heck, those are just the types of people that put that many bumper stickers on their cars. It's really stupid. It's like waving a big red flag with the word "idiot" embroidered upon it in bold lettering. I mean, heck, 30% of the idiocy comes from the sheer number of stickers in the first place. That's still saying something.
On a related note, I really wish life were more like Grand Theft Auto. You know, when that person honks their horn at you for absolutely no reason, you can just plow 'em off the road. You can mow down those pedestrians abusing their "right of way" to mosey across the crosswalk for a period of time that seems about five years long. Or not even the crosswalk, just simply a random spot in the middle of the road. Mostly, though, I'd like to just plow bad drivers off the road and ignore the speed limit and such.
Hmmmm...it seems like I'm kind of in a bad mood. But it's all good, because I had a slice of chicken alfredo pizza from Pizza Bella. Schweet.
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